Ghosts
by Shadowed-Seraph
Summary: haunted by thoughts of a love lost, in the pure poison universe SXR slashy


Ghosts

This is a one shot that came into my head whilst listening to the track; it's a break from Pure Poison but set in the same universe. The lyrics are ©the Indigo Girls and aren't mine, much as I wish they were, the characters aren't mine either otherwise I'd be as rich as JKR! Please drop me a review and make my day a happy one

_Theres a letter on the desktop  
That I dug out of a drawer  
The last truce we ever came to  
In our adolescent war  
And I start to feel the fever  
From the warm air through the screen  
You come regular like seasons  
Shadowing my dreams_

Fine parchment slips between his fingers the silkiness of age renders it tactile and almost warm despite the coolness of the night air slipping through the casement window the loops of adolescent scrawl are still clear and black. He can remember when it was written the stupid argument started by nothing, well, a smile briefly touched his face; nothing but bottled suppressed hormones.

The words** I hate you **leapt off of the page but they didn't wound not now as they had then, after all, hatred had been a bad cover-up for the real emotion that had simmered there. It had hurt his heart when he'd first read it but now bathed in moonlight the memory was a fond one it spoke of that first tremulous kiss and make up between them._  
_

_  
And the mississippis mighty  
But it starts in minnesota  
At a place that you could walk across  
With five steps down  
And I guess thats how you started  
Like a pinprick to my heart  
But at this point you rush right through me  
And I start to drown_

Those days had been so sweet, tender unnoticed touches, kisses snuck in corners and behind statutes. Learning to touch one another hidden in the long grass near the lake; graduating and moving in together. Fighting in the war and holding one another when atrocity sapped at even his unnatural strength.

Then had come death and betrayal. __

_And there's not enough room  
In this world for my pain  
Signals cross and love gets lost  
And time passed makes it plain  
Of all my demon spirits  
I need you the most  
I'm in love with your ghost  
I'm in love with your ghost  
_

And oh how that had hurt.

He hadn't wanted to believe it, after all how could the one who held his heart do such a thing, to their friends, to him. And yet the evidence was overwhelming, damning…..

He'd suffered for years, decades until he'd been proved wrong, and then guilt had whipped him with a barbed wire sting for all of that terrible misjudgment.

Fingers traced over the looped writing, I hate you, still strong and distinct afterall these years, but not as much as he had hated himself

_  
Dark and dangerous like a secret  
That gets whispered in a hush  
(dont tell a soul)  
When I wake the things I dreamt about you  
Last night make me blush  
(dont tell a soul)  
And you kiss me like a lover  
Then you sting me like a viper  
I go follow to the river  
Play your memory like a piper  
_

Forgiveness had been sweet and so easily won, after all they were still in love, that hatred hadn't been enough to drown the feeling not even Azkaban had driven it out but it hadn't been easy to take up where they left off – they'd both grown and changed, and yet the underlying fabric hadn't so he'd just had to stretch in places it had been worth it.

It had been.

_  
And I feel it like a sickness  
How this love is killing me  
Id walk into the fingers  
Of your fire willingly  
And dance the edge of sanity  
Ive never been this close  
Im in love with your ghost_

They'd had to go, the Order had called and they'd gone running, like a repeat of their past, straight from honeymoon to funeral but it had been harder this time because they had people to protect as well as themselves.

Moonlight stroked over his skin and his fingers crumpled the smooth parchment until the edges of it cut into his skin and the blood contrasted with the ink another shade of black in the darkness. _  
_

_  
Unknowing captor  
You never know how much you  
Pierce my spirit  
But I cant touch you  
Can you hear it  
A cry to be free  
Oh I'm forever under lock and key  
As you pass through me_

He'd know that Harry came before him in the scheme of things, there was love and duty all bound up in one package, part of him, the territorial part hated it, and hated Harry. But he was more or less able to control that, the fact he loved the boy himself helped. But Merlin the boy was irresponsible, and as quick as his godfather to leap into danger.

Dropping the parchment he turned and walked away into the dark, finding a way through the shuttered and shadowed library and into the more bulky silhouettes of the kitchen, pausing to unbolt the backdoor and slip out onto the grass. _  
_

_  
Now I see your face before me  
I would launch a thousand ships  
To bring your heart back to my island  
As the sand beneath me slips  
As I burn up in your presence  
And I know now how it feels  
To be weakened like achilles  
With you always at my heels  
_

They'd leapt into danger, the pair of them, but only one had been laughing in its face, only one of them had slipped through the veil that night at the ministry and left this huge hole in his heart and a house haunted by a thousand ghosts of touches, kisses love and smiles.

The moon stung his skin and he threw back his head and finally let the transformation take him, let the beast strip him of his pain with a whimper of "Sirius" humanity fled and with it he prayed all concept of ghosts.

_  
This bitter pill I swallow  
Is the silence that I keep  
It poisons me I cant swim free  
The river is too deep  
Though Im baptized by your touch  
I am no worse than most  
In love with your ghost  
_

A howl full of everything arched across the woods.

_  
You are shadowing my dreams  
(in love with your ghost)  
(in love with your ghost)  
(in love with your ghost)_


End file.
